


Swipe Right for a Clean Flat

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dishes, False Identity, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, No Smut, Roommates, Tinder, Washing up, how is that not an actual tag, it's really not bad you'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Harry was done. He wasover this shit. He literally only asked his flatmate to do one chore, and that was the washing up. He couldn’t even handle a few plates and cups. Harry obviously overestimated him.Louis wasn’tthatbad. It was just that he only did the washing if he was going out to pull and wanted to bring someone home. If the dishes were put away, that was how Harry knew to vacate the premises. There was no way he was going to listen to yet another girl moan Louis’ name while Harry laid in bed and wondered what it might be like if only Louis liked men.Glaring at the full sink and debating  washing up himself -again- Harry finally turned and stalked to his room.“Dire circumstances,” Harry muttered as he picked up his phone and unlocked it.Or the one where Harry and Louis are flatmates and Harry is tired of Louis not doing the washing up. He figures signing up on Tinder as a hot girl might be just the fix for this issue.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 24
Kudos: 477
Collections: Week Fifty-Seven





	Swipe Right for a Clean Flat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Harrehleh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harrehleh/gifts).



> Hi! I'm so very excited to be doing this fic challenge again! haha This fic particularly was so much fun to write as a short little ditty between larger projects. When I saw [this post](https://harrehleh.tumblr.com/post/188413599131/periiwrinkles-an-important-update) (particularly with [Laura's tags](https://harrehleh.tumblr.com) hehe) I knew I had to write it. And here we are.
> 
> This fic was also written as part of an ongoing challenge using the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names for our prompts. To read the other fics written in this challenge, [click here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ShortFic_Challenge_For_Which_There_Is_No_Name/works). You can find more information on the challenge here and to reblog the masterpost on tumblr, you can [click here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/159679804243/1000-feelings-for-which-there-are-no-names-prompt).
> 
> My prompt was 328: The itch to cut in line.
> 
> Biggest thanks go to [Molly](https://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) for betaing and particularly to [KK](https://dinosaursmate.tumblr.com) who was still willing to brit pick this thing for me last minute because I forgot I made them English. heh. You two are my queens and I adore you.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> This is a work of fiction and comes entirely from my own mind. Please do not repost or translate in any way this fic without my express permission. Please do not share this with anyone in any way associated with the real life figures depicted in this work. Thank you!

Harry was done. He was  _ over this shit. _ He literally only asked his flatmate to do one chore, and that was the washing up. He couldn’t even handle a few plates and cups. Harry obviously overestimated him.

Sighing in frustration, Harry shook his head at himself. Louis wasn’t  _ that _ bad. It was just that he only did the washing if he was going out to pull and wanted to bring someone home. If the dishes were put away, that was how Harry knew to vacate the premises. There was no way he was going to listen to yet another girl moan Louis’ name while Harry laid in bed and wondered what it might be like if only Louis liked men. He brought girls back enough the first few months they were flatmates. The walls were not thick enough for his sanity to remain in tact with the frequency that it had happened.

Glaring at the full sink and debating washing up himself -  _ again _ \- Harry finally turned and stalked to his room.

“Dire circumstances,” Harry muttered as he picked up his phone and unlocked it. It was still open to Tinder, asking him to start an account or log in. 

He couldn’t believe he was actually doing it this time, but he had considered breaking down and actually signing up under a fake account for ages now. Harry had been drunk when he’d come up with the idea about a month ago, but had never gone through with it. He knew Louis used dating apps, but he also knew his preferred app was Tinder. Harry always knew when he used apps rather than going out clubbing, because he always made sure Harry knew if he planned to be returning that night. 

Well, two could play that game. Harry could get on Tinder, swipe whatever way he needed to in order to make a match with Louis, and con the man into doing the washing up. He would come up with excuses for why they could never meet up and continually push back their booty calls, as long as it meant Louis actually did the washing up regularly.

Maybe, if he was successful, he’d do an entire group of profiles. He didn’t know anything about Louis’ flirting style or how long he chatted with people before deciding he was ready to hook up. Harry didn’t know what the usual was for anyone in that way, really. He preferred old fashioned face to face chemistry at a club or something in real life. He didn’t understand the appeal of apps.

Alas. He would figure out the workings of Tinder at the very least because it was absolutely worth the effort at this point.

Remembering the characteristics of some of the girls that Louis had brought home when they first moved in together a few years ago, Harry searched online and found a photo of someone he thought would fit the bill. He wrote basic, general facts about this supposed girl, and once the profile was completely set up, he leaned back.

As he continued swiping left, he got more and more frustrated. How many people were on here? There were far too many in the general vicinity. He’d made the pool the app was choosing from fairly wide because while he knew Louis was going clubbing tonight with some mates and they usually stuck fairly close, but he couldn’t be sure. He wanted to guarantee he would get Louis’ profile. This was too much, though. He could hardly stand waiting in the queue at the shops, he always wanted to skip to the front of the overloaded customers, especially when he only had a bag of crisps and a Ribena. He had far less patience when he was only doing this for the sake of his dishes.

Locking his phone and tossing it down, Harry got up. He couldn’t focus when he knew the dishes were sitting in the sink, had been for days now, when he was fully capable of cleaning them himself. 

Getting into the familiar rhythm of washing, swirling the suds around as he scrubbed, and placing the dishes into the drying rack, Harry thought more about Louis. He got so frustrated with him for not doing the washing up, but really he was otherwise a very decent flatmate. They got on dead well from the very beginning and even had developed a fairly decent overlap of friends. He was always thoughtful about noise levels of his music and asked before inviting anyone into their shared living spaces. He helped Harry when it came to the difficult gift buying for his mum and even somehow remembered her birthday, which Harry almost never was able to do himself. 

Overall, Louis was a perfect flatmate. He never did any deep cleaning, but Harry was fairly particular about that anyway. He was fine doing it himself. All he asked was that in addition to making sure they were always stocked in milk and tea and that he kept his clutter to a minimum, that Louis do the washing up. 

“Oh, I was going to get around to that, mate. Didn’t mean for you to do it.”

Harry jumped at the sound of Louis’ voice from behind him. He’d been so zoned out, he hadn’t heard Louis come in. 

“They’d been sitting here for days, Lou,” Harry said, exasperated. Even so, he could tell his voice was coming out far more fond than he wanted it to. It always did when he was talking to Louis. It was probably why the dishes situation hadn’t improved, despite Harry’s near constant nagging about it. “I didn’t have the pot I needed to make dinner tonight and had to do something else instead.”

Wincing, Louis shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, I didn’t realise they were that bad. I’ll try to do better.”

Nodding, hoping that between Louis’ repeated promises and his new tactic with Tinder, that it might actually happen this time.

“Thanks. Did you have fun tonight?”

Louis shrugged. “It was alright. Wasn’t really feeling it, so just came home early. Thought I might just get some extra sleep tonight instead.”

Harry looked closer at the outfit Louis was wearing and noticed he wasn’t even wearing his tight jeans he  _ always _ wore when he was going out on the prowl. He should have known Louis would be coming back without anyone in tow between his outfit and the dishes. Maybe Louis would have actually gotten to the dishes tonight. Probably not, but he never knew.

“Sounds good. Sleep well, then.”

Louis gave him a tired smile, waved, and walked back out of the kitchen. Harry tried not to watch him as long as he could, but there was something magical about Louis Tomlinson’s arse. Harry would have to be a much stronger man to not appreciate it as often as he could.

Once he was out of sight, Harry turned back to the sink and was pleased to see there were only two plates left. He quickly finished and, after wiping down the counter after himself, went back to his room.

Tinder could wait until tomorrow.

*~~***~~*

Harry stared at his phone in shock. They’d matched. It had worked. It had been days since Harry had got on the app, but Louis had once again left the dishes to just sit, so he bit the bullet and got back on, swiping left until he had  _ finally _ got to Louis’ profile. Pleased, he swiped right, and then closed out and waited.

It took another few hours before Louis was active on the app, but soon after that Harry had an alert that he had a match. Excited to start the messaging process and imply that he wanted to come over for a good time, he immediately opened the app and was surprised to find a message was already waiting for him.

_ LouisT91: Hey _

Harry stared at it. That… was it? He thought there would be a bit more to work with, but he supposed that wasn’t bad. At least he took the initiative, right? And anyway, he wasn’t sure what more to expect from a straight man, even a straight man as decent as Louis seemed to be.

Licking his lips and considering how to reply, Harry started to type.

_ KatLondon94: Hey _ _  
_ _ KatLondon94: Interested in having some company tonight? _

Harry checked the clock and saw it was already past nine, so hopefully it wasn’t too forward or unusual to jump right to it. He just really wanted those dishes clean. Louis had made something a few days ago that honestly was beginning to stink and Harry wasn’t sure he could bring even himself to deal with it.

When Harry’s phone buzzed, Harry picked it up and almost choked. Louis had sent back a fucking  _ dick pic _ as well as the simple reply. 

_ LouisT91: Yeah, I’m up for it _

First off, that reply was the kind of innuendo Harry always made that Louis made fun of him for. Second, he just went and sent a dick pic to some random person? Just like that? How did women  _ deal _ with men like that? Don’t get him wrong, he did zoom in and take a closer look, so sue him, but  _ still. _

While Harry was doing his best to not admire his straight flatmate’s dick, he realised the washing up might actually get done. Oh God, he would be so relieved. He couldn’t handle the smell anymore, and he just really wanted Louis to finally do it. 

Near tears he was so happy, Harry almost missed that his phone vibrated with another response.

_ LouisT91: Actually, I’m not sure about tonight. What about tomorrow? _

That took Harry from his almost tears of happiness to almost blind rage. Clicking over to his own photos, Harry found the dick pic he’d taken for an ex-boyfriend and never deleted and sent it over to Louis without thinking.

“Do the fucking washing up, you wanker!” he yelled through the wall.

He wasn’t sure if Louis heard him. He also wasn’t sure if he wanted Louis to. All he knew was that he turned off notifications on Tinder so he didn’t know if Louis responded to the photo or not, but Louis  _ also _ didn’t leave his room for the rest of the night. 

Harry wasn’t sure whether he was pleased he didn’t have to worry about running into Louis when he’d just sent him a fucking dick pic or if he was mad the dishes still weren’t done. He could figure that out in the morning.

*~~***~~*

The next morning, Harry woke up and, when he unlocked his phone, his Tinder app showed a little red bubble with a three in it.

Shit. What did Louis say after he was so stupid as to send his own fucking dick pic?

Harry sat up in bed, made himself comfortable against the headboard, and fussed with the blankets until he knew he couldn’t put it off anymore. He clicked on Tinder and went to messages.

_ LouisT91: I’m going to do my best to be respectful of you while still satiating my curiosity, so please let me know if I offend you in any way. I promise it isn’t meant that way _ __  
_ LouisT91: Are you transitioning? If so, I think that’s really great and I’d love to talk to you more about your journey as well as your limitations when it comes to being intimate with someone and your body _ _  
_ __ LouisT91: If you aren’t, then I guess I’m mostly intrigued as to why you decided to send back a frankly incredible looking dick pic when I sent mine lol

Harry could hardly breathe. What… what did that mean? He always knew Louis was amazing, but he was responding so incredibly and trying to traverse what Harry thought was pretty blatantly just  _ not _ a female’s profile with such respect to the possibilities that Harry hadn’t even considered.

Fuck. What was Harry supposed to do now?

As Harry reread the messages, he focused in on one part of the last line that he hadn’t even noticed before. “ _ A frankly incredible looking dick pic. _ ” Was he talking aesthetically? Or was there actually a possibility that Louis was into women  _ and _ men? Would Louis list that in his profile? Harry had been so focused on just getting them to match so he could attempt to use this to get him to do the washing up that he hadn’t even read Louis’ bio.

Clicking on Louis’ name, Tinder pulled up his profile, and it was then that Harry saw the ever important line: Interested in men and women.

“Oh my God,” Harry groaned, leaning forward with his head in his hands. How had he been living with Louis so long and not known? He’d never brought men home, as far as Harry knew. Every time he’d met one of Louis’ partners, they’d always been women. Harry had wondered if maybe Louis was also attracted to men and just didn’t realise, but apparently he did. 

This changed everything. He’d already sent him a dick pic - one Louis seemed to appreciate and enjoy - so was there anything more to lose? He’d have to come clean eventually. Now might as well be the time.

Harry heard signs of life in the flat, so he got up, threw on a pair of joggers, and went out to see if he could find Louis and get to the bottom of everything.

“Oh, hey. Morning, H,” Louis said, looking over his shoulder from where he was, miraculously, doing the washing up.

“You’re washing up,” Harry said, sounding more surprised than he meant to.

“Yeah, I’m not scheduled to be in to work until later and I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d finally do these for you.”

Louis flashed Harry a smile, and there was something so perfect about him standing there in his flannel pyjamas, hair entirely mussed, washing the dishes that made Harry’s tongue loosen in a way he didn’t think was possible before.

“The dick pic last night was mine.” Harry’s eyes widened and he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. 

Louis’ forehead wrinkled in confusion as he froze. “I’m sorry, what?”

Taking a deep breath, Harry wrapped his arms around his middle. He should have put on a shirt, but he’d been in such a hurry to get this over with he’d entirely forgotten. 

“That Tinder girl you were chatting with last night? That was actually me. The dick pic was something I sent while frustrated before thinking.”

Louis pulled his hands out of the dishwater and dried them on a tea towel before turning to face Harry entirely and lean back against the counter. 

“But why would you do that?”

Harry snorted. “I was desperate.” Waving his hand at the sink, he said, “I’d noticed the only time you ever washed up was when you had someone coming over and they were starting to smell. I just wanted the washing up done.” Harry finished weakly and covered his face with his hands. “I know, it was idiotic, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Why’d you even pretend to be a girl, then?” Louis asked. “Honestly I feel like you’d have been a much more convincing man, and at least then you could have sexted a bit more without making things awkward or whatever.”

“I… thought you were straight,” Harry mumbled, looking down at his bare feet. Maybe if he focused on his “Big” tattoo, he wouldn’t have to look at Louis.

“You what?” Louis asked, bursting into laughter. “Harry, oh my God, no. I thought you knew I was bi!”

Harry shrugged. “You never said and whenever you brought partners home, they were always women. I didn’t have any reason to think otherwise.”

“You mean other than the fact that I can never get a sentence out without stumbling over my words when I catch you after a shower in little more than a towel?” Louis asked. That made Harry look up. Louis’ face was incredulous. “Harry, You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen and the only reason I pulled as much as I did when I first moved in was because you had me  _ constantly _ horny and I didn’t think I had a chance.”

This wasn’t possible. How was this possible? “You always had a chance,” Harry said, feeling breathless. “You can’t be serious right now.”

Louis walked up to Harry, this time blatantly taking in his bare torso, and placed his hands on Harry’s hips. They caused goosebumps to rise all over Harry’s skin and he shivered in surprise.

“I’m absolutely serious. Especially if you are actually hiding a dick in your joggers that’s as pretty as the one in the picture last night.”

Louis moved his hands slowly up and down Harry’s sides, and with them he felt heat rising in every part of him.

Glancing over Louis’ shoulder to check the time, Harry said, “Well, if you finish those dishes in the next five minutes, you can see for yourself and get a special reward before I’ve got to get to work.”

Louis smirked at Harry, rose up just enough to place a brief kiss on Harry’s mouth, and then quickly turned back to the sink. 

“That’s a deal.”

*~~***~~*

It took less than a year for Harry and Louis to get engaged. 

It also took Harry less than a month to learn that all he had to do was withhold sexual favours, and Louis would get right on the washing up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading! Please considering leaving a nice comment, kudos, and maybe even [reblogging my fic post](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/189191269588/swipe-right-for-a-clean-flat-by-lululawrence-harry) if you enjoyed! I'll love you forever and a day if you do :D


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